John W. Gray III (born June 26, 1973) is an American pastor, author, and television personality based in Greenville, South Carolina. He’s the senior pastor of LoveStory Church, formerly known as Relentless Church, and spent years as an associate pastor at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church in Houston before starting his own ministry. Known for his candid preaching style and his OWN reality series, The Book of John Gray, he’s built a public ministry that mixes humor, personal transparency, and straightforward Gospel teaching.
A note on the name: Several public figures share the name “John Gray.” This biography covers Pastor John Gray of LoveStory Church. It is not about the American relationship author John Gray, who wrote Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (born 1951), or the British political philosopher John Gray, who wrote Straw Dogs (a former London School of Economics professor). Those are two entirely different people, and this article does not cover their work.
| Personal | |
|---|---|
| Full name | John W. Gray III |
| Born | June 26, 1973, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA |
| Age | 53 (as of 2026) |
| Nationality | American |
| Spouse | Aventer Gray (co-pastor) |
| Children | Two, including son John W. Gray IV |
| Education | |
| High School | Withrow High School, Cincinnati, OH (1991) |
| College | The College of Wooster, Ohio (did not graduate); later attended the University of Cincinnati |
| Ministry | |
| Title | Senior Pastor |
| Church | LoveStory Church (formerly Relentless Church), Greenville, South Carolina |
| Ordained | Elder, Northview Christian Church, Dothan, AL (March 2010) |
| Prior role | Associate Pastor, Lakewood Church, Houston, TX, under Joel Osteen |
| Career | |
| TV | The Book of John Gray (OWN, 2017–2019); host of John Gray World |
| Books | I Am Number 8; Win From Within |
Early Life and Background
John W. Gray III was born on June 26, 1973, and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, into a musical family. He accepted Christ at age seven at Bethel Baptist Church under Dr. Wayne Davis and was directing the church choir by that same age. Music and theater ran through his childhood; he took part in nearly every school and church production growing up.
He graduated from Withrow High School in 1991 and earned an academic scholarship to The College of Wooster in Ohio, where he continued pursuing music and acting. A serious illness in his grandmother’s health during his sophomore year pulled his focus away from school, and he ultimately did not finish that semester. He later attended the University of Cincinnati, where he joined the school’s traveling gospel choir, an experience that helped confirm his call to ministry.
Path to Ministry
Gray preached his first sermon in September 1994, not long after turning 21. Around that time, he was cast in a stage production alongside Grammy-winning gospel artist Kirk Franklin, which led to a run performing with Kirk Franklin and The Family on a musical tour focused on racial reconciliation within the church. In September 2000, he accepted his first youth pastor position at First Baptist Church of Lincoln Gardens in Somerset, New Jersey, under Pastor DeForest Soaries. He was ordained an Elder at Northview Christian Church in Dothan, Alabama, in March 2010.
Career at Lakewood Church
[IMAGE: Pastor John Gray preaching at Lakewood Church]
Gray became an associate pastor at Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, under Joel Osteen, where his energetic, humor-forward preaching style built him a national following. During this period, he hosted the daily John Gray World program on the Hillsong Channel and Trinity Broadcasting Network, and appeared on Fox’s talk show The Preachers. In 2017, OWN premiered The Book of John Gray, a docu-series following his pastoral counseling work and family life at Lakewood, with his wife, Aventer, as a regular presence on the show. He was later named to Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul 100, a list of leaders using their platforms to elevate humanity.
Relentless Church and LoveStory Church
[IMAGE: LoveStory Church sanctuary, Greenville South Carolina]
In 2017, Gray announced he was leaving Lakewood to lead a congregation in Greenville, South Carolina. Pastor Ron Carpenter, who was relocating his own ministry to California, handed Gray the building and congregation formerly known as Redemption Church, which Gray renamed Relentless Church. The installation service on June 3 drew a wave of prominent guests, including Tyler Perry, Kirk Franklin, Tasha Cobbs, William Murphy, William McDowell, Tamela Mann, and Fantasia.
Under Gray’s leadership, the non-denominational megachurch grew to a congregation of roughly 10,000. He became known for a nontraditional pulpit style, preaching in a hoodie, breaking into song mid-sermon, and building an Instagram following of more than a million people. He’s described his approach as an intentional effort to let people “have a conversation with your creator without the stench of religious dogma.”
In 2024, the church rebranded again, becoming LoveStory Church on Easter Sunday, marking what Gray and his wife described as a fresh start after what Aventer Gray called “six tumultuous years wrapped in controversy, health issues, and litigation.”
Books and Publications
Gray has published two books. I Am Number 8 draws on his own experience of feeling overlooked and undervalued, framing it as part of a larger purpose. Win From Within focuses on inner struggles, encouraging readers to face themselves honestly as a path to real change. Both books lean on his personal story rather than traditional expository teaching, echoing the transparency that defines his preaching style.
Personal Life
Marriage to Aventer Gray
Gray is married to Aventer Gray, who co-pastors alongside him. He’s spoken publicly about meeting her at church, where she was worshipping God through dance. The couple has weathered highly public difficulties in their marriage. In 2019, Gray admitted to an emotional affair, and the couple addressed the fallout openly with their congregation. In 2020, Gray announced he was stepping back from active leadership at Relentless Church to focus on his marriage and family, writing publicly, “Church isn’t first. My wife is.” He’s continued to speak candidly about the process of rebuilding trust, including a 2018 admission to T.D. Jakes that he had experienced suicidal thoughts amid the fallout of his indiscretions, and later interviews where he apologized directly to Aventer for the pain he caused.
Children
John and Aventer Gray have two children together, including a son, John W. Gray IV.
Health Scare
In 2019, Gray was hospitalized with a saddle pulmonary embolism, a severe and potentially life-threatening blockage in the lung’s arteries. Aventer Gray described it publicly as a “life or death” situation, explaining that the clot’s location put him at serious risk to either his heart or his lungs and blood flow. He spent about two weeks in the hospital before returning to preach at Relentless Church, thanking his wife, congregation, and doctors for his recovery.
Influence and Legacy
Gray built a national platform by combining unconventional preaching, reality television, and public vulnerability about his own failures in a way few megachurch pastors have matched. His time at Lakewood under Joel Osteen gave him early national exposure, and his own church’s growth to roughly 10,000 members in Greenville established him as a significant figure in Southern megachurch culture. His willingness to publicly process his marital struggles, rather than hide them, has made him a reference point in broader conversations about pastoral accountability and transparency in the Black church.
Criticism and Controversies
Gray has faced sustained public criticism, largely tied to his admitted marital infidelity and the very public nature of how it played out through his reality show, social media, and church announcements. He’s also drawn scrutiny over lifestyle spending, including a widely reported gift of a luxury vehicle to his wife, which critics contrasted with his pastoral role. Gray and Aventer have generally responded to criticism directly rather than avoiding it, at times pushing back forcefully against what they’ve called invasive public judgment of their private struggles.
Interesting Facts
- He began preaching at 21 and toured as a backup singer with Kirk Franklin before becoming a pastor.
- He co-produced and directed award-winning film and TV projects, including work connected to Sister, Sister and Tyler Perry’s House of Payne.
- He was named to Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul 100 list of influential leaders.
- His church has been renamed twice: from Redemption Church to Relentless Church, then to LoveStory Church in 2024.
- He survived a severe pulmonary embolism in 2019 that his wife described as life-threatening.
Timeline
| Year | Event |
|---|---|
| 1973 | Born June 26 in Cincinnati, Ohio |
| 1991 | Graduates Withrow High School |
| 1994 | Preaches his first sermon in September |
| 2000 | Accepts first youth pastor role in Somerset, New Jersey |
| 2010 | Ordained Elder at Northview Christian Church, Dothan, AL |
| 2017 | The Book of John Gray premieres on OWN; leaves Lakewood for Greenville, SC |
| 2018 | Installed as pastor of Relentless Church |
| 2019 | Admits to an emotional affair; hospitalized with a pulmonary embolism |
| 2020 | Steps back from active church leadership to focus on marriage and family |
| 2024 | Church rebrands from Relentless Church to LoveStory Church |
Frequently Asked Questions
What is John Gray famous for?
Pastor John Gray is best known for his time as an associate pastor at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church, his OWN reality series The Book of John Gray, and now leading LoveStory Church in Greenville, South Carolina.
Is John Gray still with his wife?
Yes. John and Aventer Gray are still married and co-pastor LoveStory Church together, despite having publicly worked through past marital difficulties.
Where is John Gray pastor now?
He’s senior pastor of LoveStory Church in Greenville, South Carolina, the congregation formerly known as Relentless Church.
Is John Gray a psychologist?
Pastor John Gray is not a psychologist. That description applies to a different person entirely: John Gray, the American author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, who works as a relationship counselor and lecturer, not a licensed psychologist.
What books has John Gray written?
Pastor John Gray has published two books: I Am Number 8 and Win From Within.
Does John Gray have children?
Yes. John and Aventer Gray have two children together, including a son, John W. Gray IV.
Is John Gray the pastor the same as John Gray the philosopher or the “Straw Dogs” author?
No. Those are different people. The philosopher John Gray, author of Straw Dogs, is a British academic and former London School of Economics professor. Neither he nor the relationship author John Gray is connected to Pastor John Gray of LoveStory Church.
How old is Pastor John Gray?
Born June 26, 1973, he is 53 years old as of 2026.
